May 21st: End of the World or Zombie Apocalypse?

Could the world really be coming to an end tomorrow? Presuming you believe the biblical prediction from 89-year-old Harold Camping, May 21st, 2011 is undeniably Judgment Day. If you have confidence in that prophecy, you're probably not even reading this because you're too busy either A) preparing for the Rapture or B) sitting in your backyard bunker hoping to outwit annihilationism.

But not everyone is so quick to believe the Christian radio broadcaster's numbers for the End of Days. In numerology, you can find meaning in just about anything—and if you're hoping for Doomsday, that's what you'll get. But what if Saturday is indeed the start to the end of the world? Is it more likely to be God's hand that wipes out existence, or some biological weapons that, say... turns people into zombies?

If the thought of an infectious zombie virus spooks you more than supposed bible-mathematics, then you'll be pleased to know that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has got your back.

The recent CDC post, Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse, uses the farcical flesh-eating living dead as an excuse to teach you about the necessity of real-life emergency planning. But it is also reassuring that the CDC would conduct a thorough investigation if zombies were spotted roaming the streets, much like they would for any disease outbreak.

"CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It's likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas."

What's on their list of survival requirements?

• Water
• Food
• Medications
• Tools and supplies
• Sanitation and hygiene
• Clothing and bedding
• Important documents
• First aid supplies

Seems pretty basic for a zombie attack, if you ask me. Where's the flamethrower? The shotgun? The hazmat suit? Or are those things just reserved for the CDC?